PRESIDENT BLASTS AGING ROCKERS FOR MEANINGLESS MUSIC

President Bush lashed out at greying-at-the-temples rockers Sting and Paul McCartney on Tuesday saying "These guys have just totally lost touch with the concept of rock and roll."

Speaking before a crowd at a 1960s music review, President Bush verbally spanked the former members of The Police and The Beatles for inflicting pointless costs upon the music listening public.

"It is gravely disappointing that the music these two former greats create today is vapid, meaningless stuff. And perhaps the worst of it is kids today are losing their hearing listening to this stuff at high volume. How many more must be deafened before these two has-beens will cease victimizing a whole new generation?"

The President went on to tell the cheering crowd "I'll say this...I would never let my daughters listen to this crap. Sure, I know they are of legal age and everything, but sometimes a father has to just step in and put his foot down when he knows what he's talking about. And let me tell ya...I know rock and roll. Friends, this isn't rock and roll."

The President did not bat an eye when a member of the crowd asked "Sir, how is it that you are such a Rock authority?"

"Simple", replied the President. "I'm the President so of course that qualifies me as an authority on Mr. Sting's and Mr. McCartney's performances at their jobs. While I've never actually played in a rock band myself, mind you...well...uh... I have the microphone...and you are listening to me, therefore apparently we all agree that I'm an authority on the subject" the President said, to the nodding agreement of nearly all in the crowd

.