AND YOU THOUGHT WAR IS EXPENSIVE FOR THE NATION...

Today is the last full day CPT Patti has to herself before beginning the process of heading to Iraq via Kuwait.

As I type she is in the kitchen preparing some wonderful italian dish. Already I can hear the boos and hisses from the masses. "How on earth can you allow your wife to cook on her last night at home?

Did you note the subtitle of this blog? That "sweetest woman on the planet" stuff isn't mere hyperbole. My darling wonderful wife, aka CPT Patti just loves to cook. And she does it well as my girth will attest. She says she has missed cooking since she works so many late hours. So tonight, after initializing the GPS receiver (more on that in a moment) I said "lets go make some dinner". To which the darling replied, "OK, but I'm cooking."

And so I'm blogging.

Meanwhile, though to be certain I'd jump up and down with unrestrained glee if the President were to phone and say "thank you for your willingness, but why don't you, CPT Patti stay home with your husband"...(as if) a small part of me will be pleased when CPT Patti is sequestered in the manifesting room, cut off from contact with the outside world. What small part of me? Why, my check book of course!

Earlier today we went to the PX for the last few items. Miracle of miracle there were 3 handheld Global Positioning System (GPS) receivers there (GIs have been snapping up GPS receivers left and right since learning of the deployment). So, today, we bought one for CPT Patti.

Well, I've been keeping an informal running talley in the back of my head - and the GPS receiver officially put us over the $1000 mark in special purchases for CPT Patti as she prepares for deployment.

Now granted much (most?) of this stuff is stuff that CPT Patti will need to try to achieve some small level of comfort (mosquito netting for the cot) or to prevent pain (did you know sunblock now comes in SPF 50? Chap Stick in SPF 45??) But if the 9 bottles of insect repellent prevent a swarm of Iraqi sand fleas from burrowing into CPT Patti's skin (I'm not the only one who thinks she is sweet...the bugs tend to agree...and they vote with their mouths, if you know what I mean) then every penny is worth it.

So what else does $1000 buy? Well, two foot lockers. A rubber maid basin to serve as a sink/washing bowl (Kevlar helmets replaced the old two piece WWII steel pot - kevlar is better at stopping bullets, but you can't shave or wash your socks in it like the old steel pot, so is this progress? well, depends on the day and its context I think it is fair to say), a veritable pharmacy of over the counter drugs, a slew of uniform items, a new multi-tool/knife set (Gerber), a few snacks, some CDs, at least 800 batteries (hint - next time W looks set to open a can of whupass on some country buy stock in EVERREADY. Just trust me on this.) a compass, the GPS, another knife, 18 pad locks, and goodness me I can't remember what else but of this I am certain. $1000+. Even though the list above doesn't come close (maybe it was 8000 batteries...)

Now my guess is that most folks who have never done this think that come war time Uncle Sam hands you everything you need, kicks in a little hazardous duty pay and off you go.

Fact is, we figure that CPT Patti has to be deployed for 2 months before all the extra pay she gets covers the cost of preparations. Not that there is any way she won't be gone for 2 months.

And this is just one soldier. There are 15.000 soldiers in the 1st Armor Division.

If we come out of the economic doldrums anytime soon thank a soldier.

Matter of fact, go thank a soldier whatever the economy.

Now the downside to this is that soldiers tend to shop the PX first. Especially here in Germany. And shopping at the PX is a benefit because the PX does not collect sales tax (since there is no Federal sales tax...yet). So - state coffers are not going to overflow on account of this deployment. But those who believed in Reaganomics should be ecstatic about now.

Oh - I promised more on the GPS. Now, you know what a GPS does right? It tells you exactly where you are on the planet...accurate to within about 45 feet in the case of CPT Patti's model. Well - when you first turn it on you must "initialize" the receiver. In this process the GPS receiver "acquires" sattelites and downloads data. Took us about 30 minutes even though the book says it should take 5.

Anyway - once it had "acquired" all the satellite data - I was astonished to see that the receiver even had the correct date on it. Amazing! The sattelites tell the GPS receiver the date. Oh...and it also had the time as well.

But there was a problem. The time was off by 7 hours. Exactly 7 hours. Hmmm. Does anyone else see a problem here?

Way back before the day (it was that long ago) every little town and burg and dorf just sort of figured out what time they thought it was there and were happy. But then came the age of railroads and some genius figured out if the train arrival and departure tables were going to make any sense at all then it would be highly beneficial if the timekeeping systems in those towns and burgs and dorfs were synchronized to some standard. This lead to Greenwich mean time, 24 time zones (mostly, except parts of Nepal are off by X hours and 24 minutes, what is that about???)

Ultimately...I think you see where I'm going with this...ultimately what time it was for you came to depend on two factors...the first being the progress of the Earth in its daily rotation and the second being...wait for it...YOUR LOCATION!

And while I is an interesting exercise to know what my latitude and longitude are in Germany AND what time it is in Arkansas...it seems, ultimately to be of little practical utility.

Do you think the software guys sat in a circle and said..."Hey - here's an idea...let's offer an incentive for folks to buy our most expensive model...one that knows exactly where you are and whether you should be preparing for breakfast or just sitting down to Tea.".

But then, I don't trust software guys.

Not kidding before...go thank a soldier.