WHAT WE LEARNED

CPT Patti and I learned some things during the wonderful 8 days she was here.

For instance, I learned that most of our Soldiers in Iraq do not have access to the big picture. Most don't know that since the capture of Saddam the Iranians and the Libyans have come clean about their WMD programs. The Soldiers don't know they are having that kind of effect on the world.

And that is too bad.

CPT Patti learned what we family members have known from almost the very beginning...namely that there is little one can do upon hearing in the news about casualties. The details just have to come out at their own pace.

She said she doesn't hear the news reports of casualties at Camp Provider. Most of the soldiers quit watching the news a long time ago due to the slant the news agencies put on their stories. Thus, when she and her Soldiers do hear of casualties, those tend to be from within their own Brigade. And, of course, the soldiers pass the word about who it is and what unit it is...information that we in the rear don't get for days.

She noticed the flag at half-staff a day or so after she got here. She didn't know then that more often than not that means our brigade took a casualty. Once I explained that she was almost frantic to know more. She was able to reach the brigade rear detachment and get what few details that were available (and they gave her those only because she is a commander within the brigade...we spouses can't get that sort of info until after notifications are made...)

She was distressed at how family members in the rear only hear that there were casualties...and have to wait days sometimes to confirm the casualties were not our very own loved ones. She didn't know about the fences we build to cope.

We both learned that no one is untouchable. She got a phone call from Baghdad after we returned from church on Christmas Eve. That call informed us of the death of the Brigade Command Sergeant Major. Patti wept desperately on the phone with the friend who called. They both knew the CSM...Patti had sought his advice and counsel on numerous occasions. And just like that he is gone.

If you are not very familiar with the inner workings of the Army let me explain to you that the Brigade CSM is the senior enlisted man in an outfit of perhaps 4000 soldiers. The CSM is a position of considerable influence, authority and power. The CSM is the command partner and frequently the most cherished advisor to the Colonel. In the eyes of young Soldiers and young officers the CSM has a certain mystique. And on Christmas Eve ours was taken by an IED.

No one is untouchable.

And I learned that spending 8 months without my wife allows my head to fill with notions and ideas that have no basis in reality. I was very concerned about what changes I would see in her, wrought by so long under such stress and conditions. I had imagined all manner of awful possibilities, and attempted to prepare for them.

But there is no appreciable change in her. If anything she may have lost a fraction of the presumption of good in all people - yet she is still far, far from being as cynical as most folks I know. So I guess I learned that the core of who she is is solid...she is who she is, and I'm just delighted about it.

I learned that being married to Time magazine's Person of the Year is a very, very cool feeling.

I learned that my real life with her is so staggeringly superior to my on-line life as a blogger that it is very doubtful I will continue to do this once she safely returns to me.

And finally, I learned that my cousin is right. You just don't forget how to kiss.